Tiny Cupboard and Me

I arrived on time. In fact, a few minutes early. My keyboard was a curious sight for the bartender, who I, at the time, thought was the open mic organizer. She was not. I asked if I could leave my keyboard against the back wall after I was told that the head of the event was not here yet, and I purchased a few drinks to earn my seat at the bar. My wish was granted, and I could take a load off while I waited for the open mic assessment was reached.

When Molly arrived, brimming with a positive glow that set me at ease immediately, she did not announce herself, and at the time I thought she was another performer.

Soon, I learned otherwise, when I was informed that the open mic would not be taking place in the game room after all, though it is stated as such on their website. It really all depends on the goings-on! The game room was in full-swing, game-mode, with people laughing and cheering, and including some all-in-good-fun sneering at playful opponents. The vibe was good there! And extra laid-back.

Tiny Cupboard's Thursday open mic event is a comedy open mic, through and through, but musicians are welcome. I certainly was treated as such, especially by the leader, Molly Levine. On Tiny Cupboard's website, they stated clearly that musicians can also perform, but at this particular event, I felt singled out. This feeling was unfounded, however, since I received such an inviting greeting and pleasant space for doing my thing. This was a playground for anything-goes. I had a big clunky keyboard, an amp, and a music stand, anxious to be set up when the right time arose, and I was comfortable (albeit a little cold) and ready to go.

Rewinding a bit, when I was first alerted that the open mic would be moving to the main room, I was excited at first, but the main show was over and the noisy crowd I had heard in there had since left. There was also a hope that people in the game bar, which remained packed and rowdy, would be shuffling over to the main bar. A couple did in fact do just that, after their heated card game ended. Quite literally just one couple. When I entered a chilly room, probably recently hit with a heater issue, sprinkled with a few people still in their coats (most of whom were soon-to-be at the mic), I met Molly and a friend of hers who were chatting, and exuding a very relaxed, loose vibe. They were already warming up the room with their amiability. My shoulders untensed, and I found myself feeling ready for whatever happened next. I was even told I could set up my keyboard before the show started.

After Molly's stand-up act, which was as free as it was funny, and another act that had me giggling into an even more cozy-giggly state of mind (despite the chilled atmosphere), I was called up to perform. It was announced that I would be playing a little diddy on the keys, which garnered curious surprise from the intimate audience. Of course, when I turned on my amp, I didn't realize that my phone was hooked up to it via Bluetooth, and a TikTok video starting blasting its audio into the room. The song was "Turn the Lights Off", featuring one of those viral Jon Hamm visual memes. At least that was a pretty funny mistake, but I didn't even think my phone was the cuplrit at first, so the music went on far too long, and repeated several times before I cut it off.

When I had finally situated myself on stage, I almost tripped over a speaker wire that was taut beside me. The mic was also out of reach and I didnt have the time to adjust its height. I decided to abandon my idea of playing a written original to start the show ("When It's You", which I find quite funny), as I was told that 3 minutes is the ideal amount of time for mic'ers. I didn't wanna press my luck even though the Tiny Cupboard website did technically say 3-7 minutes. Hey, I understand -- you gotta be careful when booking randos. Guaranateeing just 3 minutes each person is a good, safe default. If things are going really well, then I'm sure a stretch can likely occur, and Molly even said "if it goes over, that's fine", but I wanted to be smooth, and do a short set despite lugging my equipment all the way there.

In the way of open mics, you gotta be humble, and bow down to the crowds, and to equal opportunity among performers. IN FACT, that is universal advice I'd give as well!

I started by telling the audience I was doing something unconventional and would be asking for a suggestion, followed by an improvised song. "Ice" was shouted out immediately. I said, "let's try not to get political here...also FUCK ICE", which got a laugh. I then played some instrumental, uplifting music and asked for my onlookers to think of some positive suggestions to shout out when I stopped playing. That worked.

The couple sitting in the back BOTH suggested "Eiffel Tower". Interesting! I pointed out that they both had the same thought ("Jinx!"), which likely made them feel a touch more linked, and in sync with each other. That's a win in my bood. Happy crowd is a happy performance. So, I ended up singing my arse off while craning my neck awkwardly as to allow the mic to catch my voice, but soon gave up on that endeavor and used the acoustics of the room and my ability to project pretty effectively for most of the song. I ended on the mic again, after I had had the chance to more properly set the mic. My performance about a date on the eiffel tower morphed to a song about anxiety*. The "game" of the tune was that even amidst bringing my person to the most romantic place in the world -- which was the Eiffel Tower in this case -- I still have issues with Anxiety there, and that's also just as much a real Side-of-me. I liked my anxiety rhyme, but I did wonder why I jumped to the subject, other than it being a theme in my life haha. I blame JON HAMM!

To go into a little more details about my goals here, with this blog, and with my career, I'm humbling myself and attending as many open mics as I can this year, ideally leading to gaining followers and show bookings, but most importantly, to get out there, meet folks, and witness other musicians and comedians sticking their neck out to be seen; I want to learn more about others still trudging along that long rough road that is the New York hustle, and to make sure I get as many experiences under my belt, out in the gritty field of the perpetual square one. Hopefully I'll earn me some more cool experiences and opportunites, but also I simply aim to conitnue to grow, eye to eye with the creative masses.

Thank you Tiny Cupboard! You were a great experience!

Thank you Molly and all the performers who got up there and faced uncertainty with me! Ya'll rocked it!

In all, I give Tiny Cupboard 76 keys on the 88 keys scale. In other words, tremendous!

Until the next open mic!

SEE YOU OUT THERE ON THE OPEN KEYS!

Keep sailing,

Stoddard.

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*In real life, when it came to the Eiffel Tower, I was very smooth when I had lunch with my almost-wife (at the time); after we saw a man present an engagement ring to his girlfriend at the table over from us -- both spots with a breathtaking view of Paris --

from the heart of the world-wonder-monolith we were eating lunch in, I spotted an opportunity. She revealed its glory from under a food-dome / cloche. Strangely -- to me -- she did not react, really. At least not in any big or noticeable way. I decided I wanted to do him one better. But I had to wait until he left because making it a competition would be f'd up.

I started cracking up (behind a keep-it-cool resolve), when I finally saw the weird couple, otherwise eye-catching and fashionably relevant -- but neither woman or man emoting in any write-to-home-about way about the clever and romantic engagement gesture -- leaving the restaurant relatively blasé. I wasn't laughing because of their indifference to their shared big life moment, but at the fact that very soon, I would have the chance to pull off the same gesture, but with the earings I had stored in my jacket pocket in case I found an opportunity to do something cool. I had stumbled upon it. Granted, it was not any ordinary day either. We were having lunch IN the Eiffel Tower, encased in the industrial collumns in the gusts of the beatufiul beast, precicely because Caitlin had purchased our reservation for my 37th birthday celebration! I was beaming, and delighted by the gorgeous view. One important aspect about me to remember. I pretty much have the opposite of the fear of heights. I love to see cities from up high. I'm no extreme climber. I don't have interest in putting myself in danger by any means. But damn, when I can be the Bird's Eye, so to speak, I'm a happy camper.

Anyways, I decided that the best gift I could give to myself would be to pull off a real suave move, while simultaneously crazy goofy, in the form of presenting these fancy earings for Caitlin from under a "dessert" cloche, the same way, less than an hour after the first of its kind that night. The real, actual dessert cloche would come after, so no one was at all disappointed . But first, after having a laugh about the un-theatrical couple getting engaged (we think!), Caitlin said she had to use the loo real quick. Inside, I was hot with excitement. I was ready to run up to a waiter and make my plan happen. Snatching the first chance I got to make a move, I floated up to the same waiter who had delievered the previous cloche, standing up against the wall opposite from the massive, wrap-around bay window. I said my piece and I got a chuckle and a side-smile, and even a glance at other waiters, all of them somehow instanltly knowing what had transpired. I asked the nice young french man, dark in the hair and kind in the eyes, to please bring one of those food domes things (I couldn't think of the right term at the time) as a decoy dessert delivery before the real thing, revealing the earrings I handed him.

The funniest and best part about all of this was Caitlin's guffaw when the scene began with the nice waiter dropping the cloche right in front of her as if to say, this dessert is all for you, which was a hiliarous minor detail I didn't anticipate happening, ultimately making sense because the "dessert" WAS for her! When she opened the lid, seeing the glistening present, reflecting in a million directions, the splendid Paris skyline, she laughed like a goose getting booted in the hiney, exclaiming over and over, "I love it! Hahah I love it!" She gave me the biggest kiss and all the waiters had a laugh and a silly warm moment. The rest of that day, Caitlin seemed to keep thinking of "dessert cloche" moment and giggling, telling me how lucky she is and that she has the best husband. Ok maybe I'm exaggerating...that's how iIremember it!!! Oh -- I've had my fair share of anxiety-packed days in my life. Suffice to say, the day I had lunch with my fiancee at Le Jules Vern was not one of the them. That was magical day for the books.