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  • Writer's pictureStoddard Blackall

Ghost In Me

Feels like I'm in school again. I received an award from NOCD, the foundation I'm enrolled with, which "offers people access to OCD-trained licensed mental health providers, therapeutic adherence tools, and peer support communities whenever a provider isn't around." It stands for knowing OCD and simultaneously, saying NO to its craving for compulsions. In their words, "KNOW OCD and SAY NO TO THE COMPULSION DISORDER."

NOCD is excellent and takes a whole lot of insurances, and I read that they're always expanding that list. I can't speak more highly of NOCD. Howie Mandel is even a partner of theirs! But of course he is! If you don't know, he has OCD, and he's also an amazing entertainer, comedian, actor and producer. He was an especially great host on the game show, Deal or No Deal and judge on America's Got Talent. But I like to call his form of the OCD, the "traditional" kind, just because it's the kind people usually think of! Obsessed about cleanliness. That, BELIEVE me, is not my issue. I am not obsessively clean. By any means. I like to keep a tidy home, but that doesn't mean I always do! I'm actually kind of a slob sometimes, especially when I cook! Haha. But hey, it all gets cleaned up after and everybody's happy, eating pretty.


I have an OCD of a different kind: of the mind, I guess I could say. A hiccuping mind! But I've made major strides, and I owe part of that to NOCD.


NOCD awarded me the title: OCD Conquerer, which is absurdly sweet. This level of positive encouragement is so appreciated. Moves me. OCD has been the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with in my life, by far. Dealing with that ghost in me. But, in a lot of ways, because I have this ghost, I have had a lot of self-improvement training that I'm grateful for. Thank you NOCD!


Please enjoy "Ghost In Me" from Hiccups at the Triad Theater in Manhattan this year!

Trista Olivas as Liza, me as Shiloh, Joe Abrams on drums, and Andrew Whitbeck on bass.


This song will be released as a single this year, and then as part of "Hiccups Selections" in early 2024.


Thank you!


Me and my -

Hiccuping Mind.


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